










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 663 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 352 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3354 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2585 | 35% |
| Smokes | 775 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2337 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1597 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,476 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2094 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OC | 53% | 100 |
| #2 | MASAHIIRI | 49% | 49 |
| #3 | rayrrray | 48% | 286 |
| #4 | Musta Johtaja | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | sigma kriper | 44% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Musta Johtaja | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | sigma kriper | 44% | 309 |
| #6 | KuSHmaR Abahamed | 37% | 35 |
| #7 | epo | 35% | 31 |
| #8 | Cavalry Spin | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sigma kriper | 125 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | rayrrray | 49 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Musta Johtaja | 36 | 0.0506 |
| #4 | MASAHIIRI | 22 | 0.0223 |
| #5 | KuSHmaR Abahamed | 6 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sigma kriper | 1679 | 0.28 | 41 min |
| #2 | rayrrray | 357 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | MASAHIIRI | 121 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | KuSHmaR Abahamed | 86 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | OC | 61 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sigma kriper | +2.15 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | Musta Johtaja | +1.18 | 66 | 15 |
| #3 | rayrrray | +0.82 | 68 | 44 |
| #4 | MASAHIIRI | +0.29 | 61 | 49 |
| #5 | epo | +0.25 | 59 | 43 |





