








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2743 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2239 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2515 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2012 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2942 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $727,520 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | barry | 47 | 0.0103 |
| #2 | Widower | 32 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | RIDDLESDICE | 18 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | w0RLD | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Leon. | 6 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Widower | 660 | 0.24 | 17 min |
| #2 | barry | 438 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | RIDDLESDICE | 355 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | w0RLD | 304 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | KR1ST0F | 146 | 0.05 | 3 min |





