








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,062 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1750 | 29% |
| Smokes | 804 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1710 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1798 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $821,292 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seymoni | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Jorgos | 63% | 67 |
| #3 | Cyph3r | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | Bulletwatch | 54% | 50 |
| #5 | Brooks | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | EisdieleFifty | 51% | 97 |
| #8 | itskyuta | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 48% | 100 |
| #10 | __Nz__ | 37% | 35 |
| #11 | LeadOsprey58 | 29% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashpoint | 23 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 22 | 0.0109 |
| #3 | EisdieleFifty | 15 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | __Nz__ | 10 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | Cyph3r | 7 | 0.0193 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashpoint | 567 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 341 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | EisdieleFifty | 337 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bulletwatch | 203 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Brooks | 122 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seymoni | +3.61 | 80 | 79 |
| #2 | Cyph3r | +2.87 | 55 | 60 |
| #3 | EisdieleFifty | +2.09 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Flashpoint | +1.93 | 74 | 58 |
| #5 | __Nz__ | +1.17 | 55 | 39 |





