








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 819 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 280 matches | ||
| Wingman | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 87 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,152 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1924 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4176 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3526 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3526 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,256,510 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 892 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mhm | 63% | 67 |
| #2 | Cyph3r | 58% | 62 |
| #3 | seymoni | 54% | 114 |
| #4 | FURIOUSSS | 54% | 85 |
| #5 | Bulletwatch | 54% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 103 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | Flashpoint | 95 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | FURIOUSSS | 59 | 0.0322 |
| #4 | EisdieleFifty | 43 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | __Nz__ | 34 | 0.0122 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashpoint | 1270 | 0.13 | 33 min |
| #2 | EisdieleFifty | 888 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 739 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | seymoni | 648 | 0.29 | 18 min |
| #5 | Bulletwatch | 358 | 0.16 | 7 min |





