








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,111 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3226 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3162 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1339 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2384 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $462,848 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seymoni | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | Cyph3r | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Brooks | 60% | 45 |
| #4 | EisdieleFifty | 59% | 135 |
| #5 | Flashpoint | 55% | 251 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Flashpoint | 55% | 251 |
| #6 | mhm | 54% | 50 |
| #7 | Jorgos | 54% | 108 |
| #8 | __Nz__ | 50% | 86 |
| #9 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 47% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 31 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Flashpoint | 30 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | __Nz__ | 17 | 0.0096 |
| #4 | EisdieleFifty | 16 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Jorgos | 10 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashpoint | 780 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | EisdieleFifty | 386 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #3 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 326 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | __Nz__ | 141 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brooks | 130 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyph3r | +3.38 | 66 | 66 |
| #2 | seymoni | +3.37 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | __Nz__ | +1.35 | 51 | 26 |
| #4 | Flashpoint | +1.33 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | EisdieleFifty | +0.92 | 69 | 57 |





