








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2911 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2309 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2857 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2305 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3242 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,496,623 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 994 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | VikesCatgirl | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Chef | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | Musty Pubes | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 49% | 69 |
| #5 | Musty Pubes | 45% | 22 |
| #6 | JachPot | 43% | 60 |
| #7 | Ledbone | 42% | 53 |
| #8 | Sock | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | 6 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | JachPot | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Ledbone | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Sock | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JachPot | 283 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 231 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | deckle- | 183 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ledbone | 175 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Chef | 96 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | +2.39 | 72 | 60 |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | +1.54 | 74 | 61 |
| #3 | VikesCatgirl | +1.48 | 66 | 53 |
| #4 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | +0.14 | 71 | 61 |
| #5 | Ledbone | +0.14 | 65 | 53 |





