








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 289 matches | ||
| Premier | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5191 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5725 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5292 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4610 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4300 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,256,279 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2016 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CSC]Herbaceous M8 | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | ROWDY.CS | 74% | 43 |
| #3 | holycow | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | Xie | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | UKCats | 56% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Ericcc | 49% | 100 |
| #12 | Simpleboo.com | 48% | 61 |
| #13 | virx1 | 47% | 105 |
| #14 | NextGenMason | 45% | 47 |
| #15 | RichMoney | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 18 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | NextGenMason | 15 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | PlzMoar | 12 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Ericcc | 11 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Simpleboo.com | 7 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | virx1 | 509 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | PlzMoar | 505 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ericcc | 284 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | holycow | 239 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | SAV | TroyjanHorse | 210 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | +2.22 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | +1.29 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Ericcc | +0.98 | 75 | 54 |
| #4 | ROWDY.CS | +0.88 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | holycow | +0.74 | 53 | 64 |





