








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 661 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7488 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7967 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5792 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5025 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,561 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2193 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilso | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | Sock | 60% | 87 |
| #3 | VikesCatgirl | 51% | 235 |
| #4 | Simpleboo.com | 50% | 58 |
| #5 | HuntW1ck | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VikesCatgirl | 14 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Simpleboo.com | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Musty Pubes | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Sock | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | 43 years old | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VikesCatgirl | 445 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | 43 years old | 296 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #3 | Simpleboo.com | 209 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | LinemanLuke | 177 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | b0xx | 143 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilso | +2.31 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | VikesCatgirl | +1.25 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | Simpleboo.com | +0.72 | 74 | 64 |
| #4 | Musty Pubes | +0.14 | 71 | 54 |
| #5 | Sock | -0.34 | 60 | 58 |





