








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 732 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 407 matches | ||
| Premier | 313 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9039 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9537 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5466 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8038 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,852,801 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 792 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | peeboy14 | 55% | 83 |
| #2 | Fransisco | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | Depressed Pulse | 54% | 87 |
| #4 | Clxtch | 52% | 125 |
| #5 | Gearslayer360 | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Viz | 49% | 63 |
| #8 | deckle- | 49% | 53 |
| #9 | AHHHHHHHHHH | 49% | 47 |
| #10 | Musty Pubes | 49% | 45 |
| #11 | Eatingpets | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Depressed Pulse | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | deckle- | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | peeboy14 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Fransisco | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Gearslayer360 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | 337 | 0.27 | 8 min |
| #2 | peeboy14 | 314 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Depressed Pulse | 243 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | deckle- | 238 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | Fransisco | 202 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | +2.42 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | Musty Pubes | +1.68 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Fransisco | +1.35 | 77 | 51 |
| #4 | peeboy14 | +0.39 | 53 | 65 |
| #5 | Gearslayer360 | +0.14 | 70 | 60 |





