








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 366 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 232 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2616 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2506 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3711 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4225 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,412,933 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 184 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilso | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | Sock | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | HuntW1ck | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | UKCats | 52% | 27 |
| #5 | Teck | 51% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | JachPot | 51% | 235 |
| #7 | DENT.GG Niffrus is Daddy | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | Frog | 46% | 106 |
| #9 | LarrytheCucumber | 45% | 42 |
| #10 | 43 years old | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JachPot | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Frog | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | LarrytheCucumber | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Teck | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | 43 years old | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JachPot | 1400 | 0.27 | 35 min |
| #2 | Frog | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | 43 years old | 140 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wilso | 106 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Teck | 105 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilso | +2.84 | 78 | 57 |
| #2 | VikesCatgirl | +1.55 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | Sock | +0.34 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | Teck | -0.34 | 65 | 50 |
| #5 | HuntW1ck | -0.64 | 54 | 56 |





