








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 39 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7139 | 24% |
| Smokes | 9101 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7747 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5883 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,190,078 of utility $284 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1406 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fountain of autism | 53% | 232 |
| #2 | The Entry | 50% | 693 |
| #3 | SHREK | 50% | 209 |
| #4 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 50% | 187 |
| #5 | Backpack | 50% | 244 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 50% | 187 |
| #5 | Backpack | 50% | 244 |
| #6 | Nose Clams | 49% | 115 |
| #7 | MattMcD16 | 45% | 293 |
| #8 | SFJake | 41% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | 36 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | MattMcD16 | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Backpack | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | fountain of autism | 10 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | SHREK | 10 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | 1737 | 0.12 | 56 min |
| #2 | SHREK | 611 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | fountain of autism | 524 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 411 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #5 | MattMcD16 | 362 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | +4.60 | 61 | 79 |
| #2 | COACH | +1.35 | 46 | 64 |
| #3 | Nose Clams | -0.22 | 38 | 50 |
| #4 | Backpack | -0.44 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | fountain of autism | -0.65 | 44 | 67 |





