








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1016 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 140 matches | ||
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,836 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4087 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4387 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5343 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3019 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,331,135 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 645 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 58% | 109 |
| #2 | The Entry | 53% | 261 |
| #3 | COACH | 53% | 232 |
| #4 | Backpack | 51% | 113 |
| #5 | MattMcD16 | 50% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Backpack | 51% | 113 |
| #5 | MattMcD16 | 50% | 82 |
| #6 | Nose Clams | 45% | 29 |
| #7 | SHREK | 44% | 70 |
| #8 | SFJake | 41% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | COACH | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | MattMcD16 | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Backpack | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | SHREK | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | 670 | 0.13 | 22 min |
| #2 | COACH | 648 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 305 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | SHREK | 175 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | SFJake | 150 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | +4.15 | 60 | 80 |
| #2 | COACH | +0.98 | 45 | 63 |
| #3 | fountain of autism | -0.23 | 51 | 66 |
| #4 | SHREK | -0.34 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | Backpack | -0.56 | 62 | 55 |





