








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1535 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10396 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,363 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12324 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8205 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 9418 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7416 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,841,239 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COACH | 50% | 209 |
| #2 | fountain of autism | 44% | 70 |
| #3 | The Entry | 43% | 544 |
| #4 | Nose Clams | 42% | 249 |
| #5 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 41% | 515 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SFJake | 30 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | The Entry | 27 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 15 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Nose Clams | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | COACH | 8 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | 1314 | 0.12 | 44 min |
| #2 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 1081 | 0.10 | 28 min |
| #3 | SFJake | 839 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #4 | COACH | 554 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | MattMcD16 | 378 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | +5.57 | 64 | 78 |
| #2 | COACH | +2.10 | 45 | 63 |
| #3 | Nose Clams | +0.45 | 41 | 50 |
| #4 | Backpack | -0.01 | 53 | 54 |
| #5 | SHREK | -0.08 | 58 | 64 |





