








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1055 | 10% |
| Smokes | 3182 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4804 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1999 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,505,483 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 338 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fountain of autism | 51% | 113 |
| #2 | COACH | 50% | 244 |
| #3 | The Entry | 49% | 374 |
| #4 | MattMcD16 | 43% | 137 |
| #5 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 42% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nose Clams | 41% | 82 |
| #7 | Bro Pesci | 41% | 27 |
| #8 | SHREK | 37% | 101 |
| #9 | SFJake | 36% | 130 |
| #10 | BUNNY FU FU | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | 15 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | COACH | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | fountain of autism | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MattMcD16 | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | SFJake | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | 936 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #2 | COACH | 612 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | SHREK | 340 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Keep_Calm & Let me KILL | 293 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | SFJake | 274 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Entry | +4.22 | 62 | 79 |
| #2 | COACH | +1.55 | 48 | 63 |
| #3 | Backpack | -0.08 | 58 | 50 |
| #4 | fountain of autism | -0.47 | 44 | 67 |
| #5 | Nose Clams | -0.58 | 40 | 48 |





