








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2650 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2089 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1500 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2073 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $552,833 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 94 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Intense | 64% | 99 |
| #2 | Trees. | 63% | 106 |
| #3 | stecs | 62% | 92 |
| #4 | Glase | 61% | 174 |
| #5 | Bennyquan | 61% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Glase | 61% | 174 |
| #5 | Bennyquan | 61% | 67 |
| #6 | Alo | 61% | 76 |
| #7 | Player | 59% | 66 |
| #8 | Pleb | 57% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glase | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Intense | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Trees. | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | stecs | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Pleb | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glase | 994 | 0.26 | 35 min |
| #2 | Intense | 333 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Trees. | 293 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bennyquan | 246 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | stecs | 215 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gingjaa | +2.40 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | Glase | +0.90 | 80 | 81 |
| #3 | Intense | +0.20 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | Bennyquan | -0.01 | 74 | 61 |
| #5 | Alo | -0.09 | 85 | 50 |





