








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 162 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 119 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,702 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1248 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1195 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1412 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1847 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $750,092 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Glase | 56% | 134 |
| #11 | Bennyquan | 56% | 59 |
| #12 | Intense | 56% | 77 |
| #13 | Pleb | 55% | 42 |
| #14 | Player | 43% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Gingjaa | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Glase | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Intense | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Trees. | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glase | 747 | 0.26 | 25 min |
| #2 | Gingjaa | 535 | 0.26 | 15 min |
| #3 | Pleb | 217 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | Intense | 204 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bennyquan | 194 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hunter | +4.77 | 88 | 75 |
| #2 | Gingjaa | +2.76 | 77 | 72 |
| #3 | ProwL | +1.58 | 62 | 77 |
| #4 | Alo | +0.84 | 82 | 50 |
| #5 | Glase | +0.29 | 76 | 82 |





