








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 217 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2505 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2555 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1519 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1987 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,061,950 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gingjaa | 63% | 106 |
| #2 | Trees. | 63% | 116 |
| #3 | Glase | 59% | 191 |
| #4 | Alo | 59% | 92 |
| #5 | Bennyquan | 58% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Alo | 59% | 92 |
| #5 | Bennyquan | 58% | 53 |
| #6 | Player | 58% | 109 |
| #7 | Pleb | 57% | 30 |
| #8 | stecs | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trees. | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Glase | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Gingjaa | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Alo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | stecs | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glase | 1066 | 0.26 | 36 min |
| #2 | Gingjaa | 595 | 0.26 | 16 min |
| #3 | Player | 381 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Trees. | 351 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | Alo | 283 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gingjaa | +2.19 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Alo | +0.55 | 85 | 54 |
| #3 | Glase | +0.53 | 79 | 80 |
| #4 | Player | +0.32 | 67 | 55 |
| #5 | Intense | +0.30 | 71 | 60 |





