








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 541 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 166 matches | ||
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2729 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2249 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1397 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,453,350 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stecs | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | Gingjaa | 61% | 76 |
| #3 | Intense | 59% | 86 |
| #4 | Pleb | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | Trees. | 57% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Pleb | 59% | 44 |
| #5 | Trees. | 57% | 128 |
| #6 | Bennyquan | 54% | 35 |
| #7 | Glase | 54% | 149 |
| #8 | Player | 53% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Player | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Trees. | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Glase | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Intense | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Pleb | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glase | 802 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #2 | Gingjaa | 455 | 0.28 | 13 min |
| #3 | Trees. | 373 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | Player | 365 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | Intense | 245 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gingjaa | +1.69 | 77 | 64 |
| #2 | Glase | +1.01 | 77 | 79 |
| #3 | Alo | +0.77 | 83 | 53 |
| #4 | Pleb | +0.75 | 70 | 63 |
| #5 | Intense | +0.51 | 69 | 60 |





