








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 225 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2214 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,960 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1034 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1637 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1171 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,332 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UɾPҽαƙMყPʅαყɠɾσυɳԃ | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | banjo | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | kei | 65% | 69 |
| #4 | vlr | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | Darkpit | 62% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | p4905 | 56% | 9 |
| #14 | Jona | 56% | 27 |
| #15 | Gav | 55% | 56 |
| #16 | scobes.jmg | 50% | 12 |
| #17 | Dawuski | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kei | 18 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | maj | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Gav | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | banjo | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Darkpit | 4 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toromi_ps | 336 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | maj | 284 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | kei | 247 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | banjo | 189 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | vlr | 147 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ball | +3.34 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | maj | +2.38 | 81 | 60 |
| #3 | the pope <3 | +1.63 | 87 | 45 |
| #4 | shatter | +1.16 | 88 | 69 |
| #5 | toromi_ps | +1.05 | 81 | 62 |





