








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 815 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 117 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3498 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3077 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2376 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2928 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,295,799 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 741 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darkpit | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | Ball | 65% | 55 |
| #3 | SarkasM | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | xdianalandx | 64% | 98 |
| #5 | grim | 64% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | banjo | 58% | 67 |
| #12 | kei | 58% | 86 |
| #13 | Gav | 53% | 40 |
| #14 | scobes.jmg | 50% | 22 |
| #15 | Dawuski | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | 19 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | the pope <3 | 19 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | kei | 14 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | xdianalandx | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | vlr | 6 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | 539 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | vlr | 355 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | xdianalandx | 315 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | kei | 298 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | Jona | 264 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shatter | +3.17 | 87 | 73 |
| #2 | Ball | +2.71 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | maj | +1.87 | 81 | 61 |
| #4 | SarkasM | +1.77 | 87 | 57 |
| #5 | toromi_ps | +1.12 | 80 | 62 |





