








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1752 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1631 | 35% |
| Smokes | 902 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 873 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $504,537 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlr | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | DanieL | 75% | 16 |
| #3 | kei | 74% | 19 |
| #4 | Jona | 73% | 30 |
| #5 | Charles | 71% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Matrix | 50% | 18 |
| #16 | Ball | 50% | 22 |
| #17 | Darkpit | 44% | 9 |
| #18 | Dawuski | 39% | 18 |
| #19 | Gav | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the pope <3 | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | kei | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Ball | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | xdianalandx | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Carlos | 2 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toromi_ps | 231 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | maj | 155 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ball | 123 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | DanieL | 110 | 0.34 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jona | 75 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C4M | +3.12 | 86 | 61 |
| #2 | p4905 | +2.32 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | Rectangle | +1.79 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | Charles | +1.67 | 60 | 44 |
| #5 | the pope <3 | +1.65 | 90 | 35 |





