








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2800 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2761 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1640 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2184 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,067 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grim | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | evil bob | 71% | 21 |
| #3 | p4905 | 68% | 50 |
| #4 | the pope <3 | 66% | 47 |
| #5 | maj | 60% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the pope <3 | 19 | 0.0188 |
| #2 | kei | 16 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | maj | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | vlr | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | toromi_ps | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vlr | 423 | 0.27 | 11 min |
| #2 | maj | 309 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | kei | 284 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | toromi_ps | 204 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | p4905 | 202 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rev0 | +4.53 | 81 | 38 |
| #2 | maj | +4.02 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | p4905 | +3.57 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | the pope <3 | +3.32 | 87 | 49 |
| #5 | Jona | +0.76 | 59 | 60 |





