








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 209 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,440 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1657 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1570 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 826 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1387 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,229 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grim | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | scobes.jmg | 65% | 26 |
| #3 | the pope <3 | 65% | 69 |
| #4 | Jona | 61% | 23 |
| #5 | Darkpit | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the pope <3 | 27 | 0.0180 |
| #2 | maj | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | banjo | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Darkpit | 6 | 0.0141 |
| #5 | toromi_ps | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | banjo | 368 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | maj | 297 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | toromi_ps | 287 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | the pope <3 | 133 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | vlr | 131 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grim | +2.73 | 75 | 45 |
| #2 | the pope <3 | +2.54 | 87 | 46 |
| #3 | maj | +2.49 | 79 | 58 |
| #4 | Jona | +2.24 | 62 | 57 |
| #5 | toromi_ps | +0.81 | 78 | 57 |





