








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6561 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,925 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4810 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2265 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3367 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3483 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,347,764 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 559 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | grim | 67% | 43 |
| #3 | Ball | 67% | 24 |
| #4 | xdianalandx | 66% | 58 |
| #5 | the pope <3 | 61% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Dontavius Calliope | 46% | 67 |
| #16 | WOW | 46% | 124 |
| #17 | FGSky | 41% | 64 |
| #18 | Strawberry894427 | 36% | 28 |
| #19 | lemon | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the pope <3 | 20 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | WOW | 14 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | kei | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Dontavius Calliope | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | Jona | 8 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toromi_ps | 589 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Jona | 388 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dontavius Calliope | 375 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #4 | banjo | 374 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | kei | 310 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maj | +3.08 | 81 | 61 |
| #2 | Ball | +2.69 | 85 | 68 |
| #3 | Jona | +2.06 | 63 | 57 |
| #4 | a | +1.87 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | the pope <3 | +1.02 | 89 | 44 |





