








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 151 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2375 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1339 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1345 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2372 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2405 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,655 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ClevieWonder | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | erock | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 54% | 26 |
| #4 | ΰΈΈLasse Bluten | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | LowCiel | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ΰΈΈLasse Bluten | 52% | 25 |
| #5 | LowCiel | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | Goose | 43% | 28 |
| #7 | M1ckW1ck | 41% | 41 |
| #8 | Sinbad | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erock | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | ΰΈΈLasse Bluten | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | M1ckW1ck | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Goose | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ClevieWonder | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 427 | 0.43 | 9 min |
| #2 | ClevieWonder | 128 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ΰΈΈLasse Bluten | 73 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Goose | 61 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goose | +1.43 | 70 | 58 |
| #2 | ClevieWonder | +1.32 | 50 | 64 |
| #3 | Spark | +1.12 | 63 | 45 |
| #4 | erock | +0.54 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | Sinbad | +0.41 | 42 | 56 |





