








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 228 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 334 matches | ||
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3440 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,041 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11365 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8852 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7248 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 8576 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $496,736 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $ulfuric | 69% | 62 |
| #2 | ClevieWonder | 62% | 65 |
| #3 | BananA | 61% | 49 |
| #4 | Goose | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | LowCiel | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Anthony | 47% | 36 |
| #16 | DJ Jazzy Jess | 46% | 41 |
| #17 | HuntW1ck | 45% | 73 |
| #18 | CAJUN PIG | 44% | 34 |
| #19 | Spark | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | erock | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | HuntW1ck | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Ozzy | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | 727 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #2 | erock | 523 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 506 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | ClevieWonder | 295 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | HuntW1ck | 279 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | +2.43 | 69 | 61 |
| #2 | Goose | +2.08 | 70 | 59 |
| #3 | $ulfuric | +1.79 | 74 | 58 |
| #4 | Uberpwnage | +1.16 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | Ozzy | +1.03 | 55 | 62 |





