








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 282 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,283 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1571 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2158 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1800 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1754 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,208,999 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HuntW1ck | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | M1ckW1ck | 58% | 81 |
| #3 | Canada_Dry | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | erock | 53% | 108 |
| #5 | Gearslayer360 | 53% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Im Mango | 50% | 32 |
| #11 | Sinbad | 50% | 44 |
| #12 | Drek | 50% | 50 |
| #13 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 49% | 81 |
| #14 | DJ Jazzy Jess | 46% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | erock | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Drek | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Goose | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 746 | 0.42 | 16 min |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 480 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #3 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 297 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | erock | 236 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Goose | 117 | 0.14 | 2 min |





