








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 364 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3073 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4320 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3459 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3767 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3327 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,478 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 67% | 39 |
| #2 | Spark | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | Gearslayer360 | 64% | 56 |
| #4 | M1ckW1ck | 62% | 65 |
| #5 | Canada_Dry | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Canada_Dry | 52% | 23 |
| #6 | erock | 51% | 131 |
| #7 | Sinbad | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | Drek | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | CAJUN PIG | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | CAJUN PIG | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Drek | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | erock | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 548 | 0.36 | 12 min |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 345 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #3 | erock | 305 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 143 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | Canada_Dry | 78 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | +2.80 | 66 | 64 |
| #2 | Spark | +0.87 | 63 | 43 |
| #3 | Canada_Dry | +0.27 | 59 | 64 |
| #4 | Sinbad | +0.21 | 41 | 63 |
| #5 | erock | +0.11 | 66 | 67 |





