








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1254 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Faceit | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,181 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6459 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8146 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6437 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7139 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,446,101 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananA | 58% | 93 |
| #2 | WakefulPlayer | 53% | 43 |
| #3 | M1ckW1ck | 53% | 256 |
| #4 | LowCiel | 53% | 108 |
| #5 | Gearslayer360 | 53% | 319 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | DJ Jazzy Jess | 47% | 70 |
| #12 | Drek | 40% | 55 |
| #13 | Im Mango | 40% | 63 |
| #14 | MUSquirel | 40% | 48 |
| #15 | CAJUN PIG | 39% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | 13 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | M1ckW1ck | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Sinbad | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | BananA | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | CAJUN PIG | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1ckW1ck | 2156 | 0.39 | 44 min |
| #2 | Gearslayer360 | 1739 | 0.26 | 39 min |
| #3 | ClevieWonder | 557 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | HuntW1ck | 373 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #5 | πΎπππ’ππππ‘π½πͺπ§π£ | 367 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gearslayer360 | +1.92 | 66 | 59 |
| #2 | MUSquirel | +1.41 | 62 | 65 |
| #3 | Sinbad | +0.01 | 39 | 60 |
| #4 | erock | -0.03 | 62 | 65 |
| #5 | WakefulPlayer | -0.32 | 48 | 55 |





