








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 527 | 19% |
| Smokes | 764 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 772 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 657 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,065 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tumu | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | Kong | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | vilkku | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | eje | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | JohanneS | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | honda | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | matohäntä | 40% | 10 |
| #11 | tpsaaa | 38% | 13 |
| #12 | eedubbi | 38% | 26 |
| #13 | wwwww | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eedubbi | 3 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | tpsaaa | 3 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | PeKSulli | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | tumu | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | vilkku | 1 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hartsah11 | 195 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | eedubbi | 55 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | PeKSulli | 44 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | vilkku | 36 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | honda | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eedubbi | +1.89 | 87 | 72 |
| #2 | VIGGEE 👑 | +1.70 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | Kallu | +1.27 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Hartsah11 | +0.57 | 78 | 63 |
| #5 | honda | +0.36 | 51 | 58 |





