








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 169 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,991 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3433 | 15% |
| Smokes | 8149 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5279 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6130 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,634,192 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | copium | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | GaBson | 52% | 335 |
| #3 | PepsiPhipsen | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | nbreakerz | 48% | 300 |
| #5 | Obizzle | 47% | 357 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GaBson | 52% | 335 |
| #3 | PepsiPhipsen | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | nbreakerz | 48% | 300 |
| #5 | Obizzle | 47% | 357 |
| #6 | monty 愛 | 46% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 23 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 23 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Obizzle | 22 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | monty 愛 | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | copium | 5 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 1125 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 605 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | monty 愛 | 412 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | Obizzle | 371 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | copium | 268 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | +1.95 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | Purple | +1.29 | 57 | 64 |
| #3 | monty 愛 | +0.86 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | copium | +0.30 | 61 | 72 |
| #5 | Obizzle | -0.51 | 53 | 55 |





