








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Vertigo | 159 matches | ||
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3596 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2326 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2584 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2984 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2446 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,442,754 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple | 46% | 274 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 45% | 302 |
| #3 | copium | 45% | 53 |
| #4 | Obizzle | 45% | 348 |
| #5 | GaBson | 45% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nbreakerz | 45% | 302 |
| #3 | copium | 45% | 53 |
| #4 | Obizzle | 45% | 348 |
| #5 | GaBson | 45% | 237 |
| #6 | PepsiPhipsen | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obizzle | 34 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 24 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | GaBson | 17 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Purple | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | copium | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 734 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 612 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #3 | Purple | 453 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Obizzle | 378 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | copium | 189 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | +2.03 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | Purple | +1.24 | 52 | 64 |
| #3 | monty 愛 | +0.76 | 72 | 49 |
| #4 | copium | +0.08 | 60 | 74 |
| #5 | Obizzle | -0.73 | 54 | 56 |





