








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5776 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6050 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6715 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2884 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,267,174 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PepsiPhipsen | 54% | 98 |
| #2 | Purple | 52% | 335 |
| #3 | Obizzle | 49% | 339 |
| #4 | nbreakerz | 48% | 225 |
| #5 | copium | 47% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Purple | 52% | 335 |
| #3 | Obizzle | 49% | 339 |
| #4 | nbreakerz | 48% | 225 |
| #5 | copium | 47% | 90 |
| #6 | monty 愛 | 45% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Obizzle | 24 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Purple | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | monty 愛 | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | copium | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple | 539 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 468 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | Obizzle | 367 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | copium | 330 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | monty 愛 | 302 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | +2.17 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | Purple | +0.97 | 56 | 65 |
| #3 | monty 愛 | -0.03 | 71 | 49 |
| #4 | copium | -0.20 | 62 | 72 |
| #5 | Obizzle | -0.63 | 54 | 54 |





