








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
990 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,898 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1516 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1164 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1252 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 966 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $459,213 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | GaBson | 47% | 90 |
| #4 | monty 愛 | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | Obizzle | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 48% | 52 |
| #3 | GaBson | 47% | 90 |
| #4 | monty 愛 | 45% | 53 |
| #5 | Obizzle | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Obizzle | 6 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | nbreakerz | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Purple | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | monty 愛 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 311 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | Purple | 109 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | nbreakerz | 94 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | monty 愛 | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Obizzle | 65 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Purple | +1.41 | 56 | 65 |
| #2 | GaBson | +1.09 | 73 | 66 |
| #3 | monty 愛 | +0.22 | 67 | 54 |
| #4 | copium | -0.05 | 61 | 73 |
| #5 | nbreakerz | -1.59 | 24 | 67 |





