








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,637 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 724 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1528 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1636 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1749 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $600,663 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 54% | 98 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | Purple | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | Obizzle | 49% | 166 |
| #5 | CT | 46% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | nbreakerz | 52% | 107 |
| #3 | Purple | 51% | 109 |
| #4 | Obizzle | 49% | 166 |
| #5 | CT | 46% | 82 |
| #6 | monty 愛 | 45% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 16 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 10 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | CT | 10 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Obizzle | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | monty 愛 | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GaBson | 376 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | nbreakerz | 231 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Purple | 191 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Obizzle | 188 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #5 | CT | 136 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CT | +3.31 | 52 | 61 |
| #2 | GaBson | +3.24 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | Purple | +2.67 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | monty 愛 | +1.24 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | Obizzle | +0.99 | 54 | 53 |





