








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 394 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




62 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 713 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1995 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1657 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3077 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,516,658 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glucose Guardian | 56% | 73 |
| #2 | niin o | 46% | 384 |
| #3 | wuju style | 45% | 86 |
| #4 | CrazyJoven | 45% | 91 |
| #5 | Roodoo | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Deyone Gibson | 41% | 109 |
| #8 | Ivdea Delenda Est | 41% | 86 |
| #9 | Dungus | 40% | 65 |
| #10 | MickeySquirt67 | 39% | 36 |
| #11 | DefinitelyNotLenny | 32% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 111 | 0.0148 |
| #2 | Deyone Gibson | 18 | 0.0087 |
| #3 | CrazyJoven | 10 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | wuju style | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Roodoo | 7 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 707 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | Deyone Gibson | 229 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | wuju style | 166 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | CrazyJoven | 117 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | MickeySquirt67 | 72 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | +5.60 | 96 | 53 |
| #2 | Glucose Guardian | +4.31 | 95 | 41 |
| #3 | wuju style | -0.29 | 56 | 44 |
| #4 | MickeySquirt67 | -0.85 | 78 | 48 |
| #5 | Dungus | -1.73 | 67 | 46 |





