








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 518 | 15% |
| Smokes | 448 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 1300 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1275 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $547,439 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glucose Guardian | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Dungus | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | schrimblo | 41% | 111 |
| #4 | wuju style | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | niin o | 41% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CrazyJoven | 38% | 42 |
| #8 | MickeySquirt67 | 35% | 26 |
| #9 | Deyone Gibson | 33% | 48 |
| #10 | DefinitelyNotLenny | 24% | 17 |
| #11 | Roodoo | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 35 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | schrimblo | 15 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Deyone Gibson | 15 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | CrazyJoven | 6 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | wuju style | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 299 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | schrimblo | 115 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Deyone Gibson | 107 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | wuju style | 61 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | CrazyJoven | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | +5.92 | 96 | 51 |
| #2 | Glucose Guardian | +5.06 | 97 | 43 |
| #3 | wuju style | +1.31 | 60 | 49 |
| #4 | MickeySquirt67 | -0.16 | 81 | 49 |
| #5 | Dungus | -1.09 | 69 | 49 |





