








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




166 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10345 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,942 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3244 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4789 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3477 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4432 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,267,290 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 797 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glucose Guardian | 56% | 113 |
| #2 | wuju style | 51% | 128 |
| #3 | schrimblo | 46% | 384 |
| #4 | Deyone Gibson | 45% | 159 |
| #5 | Dungus | 44% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CrazyJoven | 42% | 140 |
| #8 | Ivdea Delenda Est | 42% | 112 |
| #9 | Roodoo | 41% | 54 |
| #10 | SafetySpoon | 41% | 160 |
| #11 | DefinitelyNotLenny | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | schrimblo | 59 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Deyone Gibson | 28 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | CrazyJoven | 24 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | SafetySpoon | 14 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | wuju style | 11 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deyone Gibson | 365 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | schrimblo | 348 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #3 | wuju style | 247 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | CrazyJoven | 183 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | MickeySquirt67 | 138 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | +5.36 | 96 | 50 |
| #2 | Glucose Guardian | +4.70 | 96 | 40 |
| #3 | wuju style | +0.00 | 56 | 47 |
| #4 | MickeySquirt67 | -0.53 | 77 | 44 |
| #5 | Dungus | -1.54 | 64 | 45 |





