








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1240 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 900 | 18% |
| Smokes | 911 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1715 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1388 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $333,926 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DefinitelyNotLenny | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Glucose Guardian | 64% | 39 |
| #3 | wuju style | 50% | 20 |
| #4 | Dungus | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | niin o | 45% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MickeySquirt67 | 44% | 16 |
| #8 | Roodoo | 43% | 30 |
| #9 | CrazyJoven | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | schrimblo | 41% | 109 |
| #11 | SafetySpoon | 33% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 46 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | schrimblo | 16 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | CrazyJoven | 7 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | SafetySpoon | 5 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Glucose Guardian | 5 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 317 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | schrimblo | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | CrazyJoven | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | wuju style | 45 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | SafetySpoon | 44 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glucose Guardian | +6.26 | 96 | 39 |
| #2 | niin o | +5.53 | 96 | 51 |
| #3 | Dungus | -0.62 | 61 | 43 |
| #4 | wuju style | -0.97 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | MickeySquirt67 | -1.53 | 78 | 42 |





