








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1020 | 37% |
| Smokes | 486 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 704 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,441 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2377 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kozzy | 70% | 33 |
| #2 | Glucose Guardian | 59% | 74 |
| #3 | schrimblo | 45% | 91 |
| #4 | wuju style | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | Deyone Gibson | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SafetySpoon | 38% | 42 |
| #9 | Dungus | 27% | 15 |
| #10 | Zookoe | 24% | 58 |
| #11 | (Epic Half-Life Speedrunner) | 23% | 39 |
| #12 | OOOO_MX_TRIKES | 5% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 38 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | schrimblo | 17 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | (Epic Half-Life Speedrunner) | 11 | 0.0144 |
| #4 | OOOO_MX_TRIKES | 8 | 0.0226 |
| #5 | SafetySpoon | 6 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 262 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | schrimblo | 101 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Deyone Gibson | 81 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | kozzy | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | wuju style | 58 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kozzy | +8.05 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | niin o | +6.01 | 96 | 49 |
| #3 | Glucose Guardian | +5.06 | 94 | 41 |
| #4 | wuju style | +0.33 | 37 | 38 |
| #5 | Zookoe | -0.80 | 37 | 37 |





