








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 385 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,376 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1133 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1157 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1653 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1433 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $415,616 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roodoo | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | DefinitelyNotLenny | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | niin o | 51% | 128 |
| #4 | Deyone Gibson | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Glucose Guardian | 47% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | schrimblo | 45% | 86 |
| #7 | CrazyJoven | 43% | 23 |
| #8 | Dungus | 43% | 35 |
| #9 | SafetySpoon | 41% | 32 |
| #10 | Ivdea Delenda Est | 20% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 21 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | schrimblo | 15 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | CrazyJoven | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Deyone Gibson | 3 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Dungus | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | 258 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | schrimblo | 83 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Deyone Gibson | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | CrazyJoven | 44 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dungus | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | niin o | +5.26 | 96 | 52 |
| #2 | Glucose Guardian | +4.01 | 91 | 33 |
| #3 | wuju style | +0.68 | 59 | 48 |
| #4 | Deyone Gibson | -0.80 | 58 | 42 |
| #5 | Roodoo | -1.76 | 48 | 48 |





