








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 606 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 820 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2894 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4779 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3163 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4923 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,055,247 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Smoky2k" | 84% | 108 |
| #2 | D3ATHKeeper | 83% | 66 |
| #3 | Prophecy | 79% | 282 |
| #4 | ymcmb | 77% | 480 |
| #5 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 76% | 416 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | lunar | 76% | 701 |
| #7 | King Slayer | 75% | 253 |
| #8 | shibobo | 73% | 191 |
| #9 | joel | 72% | 53 |
| #10 | UmLungu | 71% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 108 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 61 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | ymcmb | 54 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | Prophecy | 23 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | "Smoky2k" | 20 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 3491 | 0.25 | 97 min |
| #2 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 1418 | 0.17 | 36 min |
| #3 | Prophecy | 1256 | 0.23 | 32 min |
| #4 | ymcmb | 1132 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #5 | King Slayer | 912 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psykosage | +3.06 | 83 | 43 |
| #2 | Prophecy | +2.49 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | lunar | +2.37 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | D3ATHKeeper | +2.22 | 83 | 71 |
| #5 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +2.04 | 80 | 69 |





