








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 816 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 631 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,433 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10078 | 32% |
| Smokes | 8571 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5885 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6899 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,264,207 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 636 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Smoky2k" | 88% | 52 |
| #2 | Prophecy | 81% | 205 |
| #3 | ymcmb | 79% | 385 |
| #4 | lunar | 78% | 520 |
| #5 | shibobo | 77% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | psykosage | 76% | 416 |
| #8 | Imagine_Wagons(@hezy_v) | 74% | 53 |
| #9 | UmLungu | 72% | 161 |
| #10 | joel | 70% | 98 |
| #11 | Bernz | 56% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 77 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | psykosage | 47 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | ymcmb | 40 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Prophecy | 19 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Imagine_Wagons(@hezy_v) | 12 | 0.0118 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 2459 | 0.24 | 70 min |
| #2 | ymcmb | 985 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #3 | Prophecy | 938 | 0.24 | 23 min |
| #4 | King Slayer | 541 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #5 | UmLungu | 435 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psykosage | +2.66 | 83 | 43 |
| #2 | "Smoky2k" | +2.60 | 83 | 74 |
| #3 | lunar | +2.58 | 81 | 75 |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +2.54 | 81 | 69 |
| #5 | Prophecy | +2.45 | 73 | 70 |





