








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 479 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 632 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7414 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,636 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7481 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3810 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4898 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3447 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,258,607 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prophecy | 78% | 88 |
| #2 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 77% | 148 |
| #3 | joel | 76% | 55 |
| #4 | lunar | 73% | 214 |
| #5 | psykosage | 73% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lunar | 73% | 214 |
| #5 | psykosage | 73% | 191 |
| #6 | ymcmb | 70% | 69 |
| #7 | King Slayer | 69% | 133 |
| #8 | UmLungu | 62% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 30 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | UmLungu | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | psykosage | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | King Slayer | 11 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 1141 | 0.25 | 33 min |
| #2 | UmLungu | 850 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 625 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #4 | King Slayer | 559 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | Prophecy | 420 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psykosage | +2.96 | 83 | 43 |
| #2 | Prophecy | +2.61 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +2.50 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | lunar | +2.37 | 82 | 75 |
| #5 | King Slayer | +1.49 | 68 | 58 |





