








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 782 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9242 | 25% |
| Smokes | 9494 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 10077 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 8278 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,384,970 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 624 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Smoky2k" | 85% | 124 |
| #2 | Prophecy | 80% | 257 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 79% | 385 |
| #4 | King Slayer | 78% | 117 |
| #5 | psykosage | 77% | 480 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Bee_25 | 72% | 104 |
| #10 | InSAniTy | 70% | 114 |
| #11 | shibobo | 70% | 69 |
| #12 | joel | 67% | 100 |
| #13 | DarkLegacy | 63% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 134 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 65 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | psykosage | 64 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | "Smoky2k" | 31 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Bee_25 | 30 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lunar | 3618 | 0.23 | 100 min |
| #2 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 1249 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #3 | Prophecy | 1133 | 0.24 | 28 min |
| #4 | "Smoky2k" | 870 | 0.35 | 20 min |
| #5 | InSAniTy | 453 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Smoky2k" | +3.34 | 80 | 75 |
| #2 | lunar | +3.22 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | InSAniTy | +3.17 | 88 | 64 |
| #4 | psykosage | +2.83 | 81 | 43 |
| #5 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +2.70 | 79 | 70 |





