








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1024 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




212 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
18324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 63,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 22680 | 36% |
| Smokes | 15935 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 15539 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9429 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,958,503 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2580 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | "Smoky2k" | 82% | 135 |
| #2 | Prophecy | 79% | 276 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 78% | 520 |
| #4 | psykosage | 76% | 701 |
| #5 | ymcmb | 76% | 797 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Imagine_Wagons(@hezy_v) | 74% | 124 |
| #8 | shibobo | 73% | 214 |
| #9 | Bee_25 | 70% | 132 |
| #10 | joel | 68% | 205 |
| #11 | UmLungu | 68% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ymcmb | 129 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | psykosage | 93 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 79 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Bee_25 | 35 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | "Smoky2k" | 33 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ymcmb | 2178 | 0.14 | 51 min |
| #2 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | 1857 | 0.18 | 45 min |
| #3 | Prophecy | 1334 | 0.24 | 34 min |
| #4 | "Smoky2k" | 950 | 0.33 | 22 min |
| #5 | King Slayer | 780 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psykosage | +3.08 | 82 | 43 |
| #2 | lunar | +2.90 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | "Smoky2k" | +2.61 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | ✪Fudge-Cakes™ | +2.33 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | Prophecy | +2.05 | 71 | 69 |





