








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1075 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1004 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 415 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 820 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $178,763 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | Bro ;-; | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | ElectricExplorer | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | StabbingFrenchToast | 49% | 105 |
| #5 | Than0s | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ElectricExplorer | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | StabbingFrenchToast | 49% | 105 |
| #5 | Than0s | 45% | 62 |
| #6 | Rasta Smurf | 44% | 52 |
| #7 | PiggyPlayz | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | StabbingFrenchToast | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Than0s | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Rasta Smurf | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ElectricExplorer | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StabbingFrenchToast | 172 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | ElectricExplorer | 130 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Than0s | 128 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Rasta Smurf | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jesus | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasta Smurf | +3.38 | 60 | 42 |
| #2 | Jesus | +3.16 | 54 | 37 |
| #3 | StabbingFrenchToast | -0.56 | 57 | 55 |
| #4 | CowardlyPancakes | -0.66 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | Than0s | -0.74 | 64 | 53 |





