








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 386 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1606 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2157 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1957 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1889 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,007,954 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 57% | 44 |
| #2 | CowardlyPancakes | 49% | 105 |
| #3 | Dwcollier | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | ElectricExplorer | 46% | 125 |
| #5 | Rasta Smurf | 46% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Than0s | 46% | 190 |
| #7 | PiggyPlayz | 45% | 97 |
| #8 | Salamèche | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | Harryw007 | 38% | 16 |
| #10 | Bro ;-; | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ElectricExplorer | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | PiggyPlayz | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Jesus | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Dwcollier | 4 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | Than0s | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Than0s | 469 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | ElectricExplorer | 301 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | CowardlyPancakes | 286 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rasta Smurf | 137 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | PiggyPlayz | 101 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasta Smurf | +3.42 | 61 | 42 |
| #2 | Jesus | +3.18 | 54 | 41 |
| #3 | Dwcollier | +0.71 | 68 | 49 |
| #4 | StabbingFrenchToast | -0.57 | 57 | 55 |
| #5 | Than0s | -0.66 | 60 | 54 |





