








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,179 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 952 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1286 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1250 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 691 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,663 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 586 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Rasta Smurf | 49% | 35 |
| #3 | Dwcollier | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | StabbingFrenchToast | 45% | 97 |
| #5 | Than0s | 44% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Than0s | 44% | 98 |
| #6 | ElectricExplorer | 44% | 55 |
| #7 | Harryw007 | 43% | 14 |
| #8 | Bro ;-; | 43% | 14 |
| #9 | CowardlyPancakes | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Than0s | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | StabbingFrenchToast | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ElectricExplorer | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Rasta Smurf | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Jesus | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Than0s | 229 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | StabbingFrenchToast | 185 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | ElectricExplorer | 142 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | CowardlyPancakes | 91 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dwcollier | 40 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rasta Smurf | +4.34 | 61 | 48 |
| #2 | Jesus | +3.22 | 52 | 42 |
| #3 | Dwcollier | +0.15 | 72 | 48 |
| #4 | Than0s | +0.06 | 63 | 59 |
| #5 | StabbingFrenchToast | -0.55 | 59 | 57 |





