








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,642 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 513 | 19% |
| Smokes | 914 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 711 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 504 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,070 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | StabbingFrenchToast | 57% | 44 |
| #7 | PiggyPlayz | 56% | 16 |
| #8 | CowardlyPancakes | 55% | 33 |
| #9 | PetitCroco | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | Than0s | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salamèche | 95 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | StabbingFrenchToast | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | CowardlyPancakes | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ElectricExplorer | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Than0s | 46 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus | +6.21 | 62 | 44 |
| #2 | CowardlyPancakes | +0.75 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | Than0s | +0.27 | 64 | 47 |
| #4 | Carabaffe | +0.14 | 62 | 15 |
| #5 | StabbingFrenchToast | -0.43 | 64 | 57 |





